Romeo, Romeo...

Let’s be honest: we have all been the victim of a dirty pick up at the bar. At some point in our lives we’ve all had a drunken member of the opposite sex stumble over to us and slur words of wisdom in a lame attempt to get some. Let’s be honest again: some of us probably enjoyed it a little bit. Over the years I have had my fair share of interesting moments – some of them were my own doing. What I’ve learned from all those experiences is that people can be somewhat ridiculous/awkward/forward/creepy when there is alcohol and the opposite sex in the same room. Something about the pumping beats and strobe lighting that makes it easier for people to leave their inhibitions at the door I guess. It’s actually quite funny to sit back and observe the mating rituals of intoxicated grown ups as they try to be romantic in one of the most unromantic settings.

Out on the dance floor just about everyone is fair game. All it takes is the right music and before you know what’s happened you find yourself grinding and winding with a stranger. Usually someone who thinks that just because you are shaking your groove thing it’s an open invitation to grab on and join the fun. Think of it like a tribal mating dance, but set to Shaun Paul music. Before you turn around to see who is there, there’s a fleeting moment where you secretly hope there will be some tall drink of water behind you. Sadly, more often than not it’s a greasy dude with an unbuttoned shirt, popped collar and too much cologne.

At the bar itself there is always a Lone Ranger slowly sipping his imported beer, checking out the scenery. He is a man a few words who waits for someone to make eye contact so he can start a conversation with an opening line that would make Joey Tribbiani proud. As cheesy as they may be, I give these guys bonus points for not being shy and for making an effort at conversation.

What cracks me up about all of this is that picking up at the bar has become such a cliché that people are overlooking the best part of it. When you meet people who know nothing about you, you get to say anything you want and be anyone you want. I’m not suggesting that you lie per say, but rather that you have some fun and strike up conversation. If you decide to be a professional petting zoo trainer, that’s your prerogative. It is kind of liberating to have a conversation go in any direction and to not know what will happen next. Personally, my favourite thing about going out is all in the thrill of the hunt; making eye contact with that cute stranger across the room, flirting a little, having some fun. It doesn’t always have to be about getting digits and shacking up.